Change.. Sometimes when it's bad, It's so GOOD..

I swore I would keep up with my blog.. and I haven't done that at all. I guess it's fine to give things a second try. So here we go..

Alot has definately changed since the last time I composed a blog.. Alot!! I'm not in love anymore :-( but life goes on.. My son is the size of a little man, and as bad as ever. Most importantly, I just up'd and decided to move clear across the United States. I felt that I needed a change for the better and Alijah deserved better than what was being offered to him in little ol' Gary, IN. I'm a woman who is not afraid to make things happen, so I did and now I am resting well in sunny California. Things are going exactly how I expected them to go.. IT'S HARD!! LOL but oh so worth it. I may not have everything that I want right now, but I have everything I need and I won't complain about that. Things always seem to work in my favor, and I'm grateful for that.. Patiently waiting, but until then I'm doing everything I have to do to get where I need to be..

Until then.. Live, Love, Life.. ALWAYS

#TruthTuesday

Woke up this morning with a wonderful feeling.. ;-)

Recently I've been kind of tormented in my own mind, almost questioning my own qualities and capabilities. Not because I felt any certain way about myself, but because of how others did or didn't feel about me. I've always been one who had the most confidence in the world but I realized recently that I was just putting on a show really. Trying to convince myself of something I already knew about me, so that someone else would catch on and see the 'ME' I wanted them to see. The end result.. NOTHING.. You can't change a persons mind or make anyone feel anything for you, or feel any way about you. BELIEVE ME, I'VE TRIED TIME AND TIME AGAIN. So when I woke up this morning with my revelation I decided to share it with the world.. LOL and this is what it was..

"I woke up this morning loving myself so much and it felt wonderful. Realized that I can't get caught up in how people feel about me or in how people don't feel about me. I'm so beautiful, intelligent, caring, giving and so many other things.. All qualities given to me by my savior.. Skills learned and perfected through my relationship with my Savior.. All that matters now is he loves me the most."

This one thought put a lot of things into perspective for me. We tend to get so caught up in being alone or feeling like we are without love that we forget who loves us the most and that with him, we are never alone. We also forget this lesson; "Give completely and wholeheartedly with no expectations.." A lesson we were taught at a young age but most of us never fully comprehended the real meaning. I never realized that this statement wasn't just meant for material things, but for spiritual and emotional as well.. If we choose to give our heart to someone, that doesn't mean that person is obligated to feel the same way about us in return. If things don't work out the way we expect them to.. We can only be happy we were blessed enough to experience what we did.. learn from it.. move on with our lives.. and MOST of all, learn to not let anyone in our future suffer for the mistakes of someone in our past..

“Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never...never forget it.”

Live, Love, Life.. ALWAYS

Another lesson learned..

Before you can expect more from a person, you have to start expecting the most from yourself..

So it's been a fun couple of days for me.. and very interesting too. I always seem to end up in some of the most complex situations that really should be simple. I always seem so willing to give so much more of myself than what I am getting in return. I guess I just can't help it at times. I was always taught to put my all in to things that mean alot to me and I have never strayed away from that lesson... and it is that lesson that has taught me a number more.. What I do realize now is that just because I am giving a certain portion of myself does not obligate the other party involved to give me anything.. What I give is my choice and my choice alone. What I have now taken from that lesson.. I deserve more from me than anybody else in this world.. so from now on.. give to myself before offering myself to others.. Seems like it will be a hard deed to do, but I'm determined.. Change has to come from somewhere, and like they always say "Keep doing what you've always done, and you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.."

Live, Love, Life... Always

{~} Happiness {~}

“I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.”

I read this quote so long ago and it had such a profound meaning to me then. I was in a rough patch of life and needed the most inspirational hearing and this is where I ended up. I would repeat this to myself daily for months just to keep me grounded. Of course somewhere along the line, when I thought I had found my complete happiness, I lost sight of what this quote meant. Now as I sit here typing, mind wandering (it does that alot now), in a state or place where I feel I don't need to be, I am once again drawn to this message..

At the end of 2008, I decided that I was nowhere NEAR where I wanted to be in life.. I had goals that I accomplished and others that were nowhere near my grasp. I felt that major changes had to be made in my life, for my life.. So I decided to give up everything and start from the bottom.. Without a stable foundation, nothing will last, right? So I gave up everything.. My own home, my job and anyone who was not adding value to my life.. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, but I made it..

Now as I sit here reflecting on my journey back to the top of the mountain, (I'm nowhere near the top yet) I realize even more how wonderfully incredible this statement is to life.. So often we get caught up in what we believe to be pure happiness that we forget the feelings we encountered along the way to our so-called mountain-top. We encounter fear, anger, disgust, sadness, disappointment and a host of other things, but if you continue in you journey all those negative emotions turn in to wondrous things.. Joy, trust, contentment, acceptance, optimism and happiness above all..

"If you don't like the way things are going, make better choices backed by Faith in your Happiness, Love in your heart and without the illusion of Fear." <== I did!!

Live, Love, Life, ALWAYS..

New to this..

My mind roams alot.. Especially when I have alot going on.. (like now for instance) Alot of friends have been telling me to begin a blog just to get things off my chest.. Kinda like talking to yourself, just not out loud right?? So I have decided to take the advice, and just write.. It's always been a refuge of mine. I've learned that writing is a true recreation.. Whether it's love, hate, health or anything else.. Writing gets me through and always puts a smile on my face.. I was nervous at first about the blog because of fear of who may read it but that is gone now.. some of you reading this may know me personally and some of you may not know me at all.. Either way, after reading a few entries in my blog, I am sure you will feel as though you know me completely and wholeheartedly..

Live, Love, Life... Always